On the Market

So, the gist of the story is this: very shortly after starting to work with a real estate agent last month, we found a wonderful home in our area. Before we knew it, we had put an offer on it, the offer was (mostly) accepted, and we had to sell our house. Make that HAVE to sell hour house. Still. Fast forward through a whirlwind three weeks of rearranging, cleaning and staging, and we’re still waiting for that buyer to walk through our door. But in these few weeks, which have seemed like months, I have learned some very interesting things about putting your house on the market while still living in it. Thought I’d share ‘em.

• You will decide that it’s finally time to clean the quarter-inch layer of dust from your mini blinds.

• Staging your family room makes it totally beautiful and totally unlivable all at the same time.

• You hope that the house hunters walking through your door are just a little bit blind. Just enough not to notice your dirty baseboards, uneven paint, and scratched floors. But not so blind that they don’t see that your house is the most fabulous edifice they’ve ever seen and they must have it now. Take that, Oprah. (Why am I picking on Oprah??)

• People who come to look at your house will use your bathroom. They won’t put the seat down. And one of them won’t flush. No, seriously.

• You will be constantly on pins and needles waiting for that call from a realtor saying, “Can I come by in fifteen minutes?”

• When you pass by the realtor on your way out the door, you will pretend that you were leaving anyway and it is no inconvenience whatsoever.

• You almost wish your cat could talk so she could tell you the snarky, mean things people are saying about your home and its possessions. Then you realize that would send you off to the mental hospital, and its best she’s just a regular old cat.

• You eat a lot of frozen dinners.

• You pretend that your house doesn’t smell, even though everyone else’s does.

• You will know terror like you’ve never felt before when you think you left the poopy diaper at the top of the stairs before a showing. (You will then almost cry with relief when you realize that you did, in fact, toss it in the garbage bin.)

• You will finally start having dreams of taking your Spanish final exam, without having studied for it, and with a pencil that keeps breaking.

To be continued…