The Greats

Children get a lot of attention. They demand it, in fact. It's understandable since they're pretty darn helpless and pretty darn cute...most of the time. In this day and age, we plaster our kids' mugs all over Facebook, feature them in photo books, home videos, and, yes, blogs. But when people age, sometimes that limelight fades away. Their worlds simply become a whole lot smaller and slower, and their voices not so loud (both figuratively and literally). They step out of the hustle and bustle of society, and it's all too easy to let them slip from our daily focus as we continue with our super busy lives.

I have the honor and privilege of, despite being in my "middish" 30s, having four living grandparents. I'm the only person I know, among my contemporaries, with this distinction. And it's an understatement to say that it is not easy to get old. My grandparents range in age from 85 to 103. They have varying types and degrees of infirmities and challenges, and it's only through the love and dedication of my parents, the capability of their caregivers, and the result of astute planning on their part, that they are able to live comfortably and safely. I only see and hear about a very small fraction of what it takes to care for them. It's my parents and the staff at their assisted living facilities who are in the trenches. And my grandparents go on, bravely and with smiles, despite declining health and clouding of memory.

That's why it's so important to remember who they are, and who they were.

Here's a picture of my maternal grandpa ("Tat") receiving an acknowledgement from the state senator's office on Veteran's Day.

It's a very bittersweet photo. My grandpa, who suffers from Parkinson's, wanted so much to stand up so many times during this ceremony, but he can no longer do that safely. He was given recognition for his time in the Navy during WWII, and he was very moved. His time in the Navy was only the beginning of a lifetime of service, from Deputy Sheriff, to Captain of the Sheriff's Department, to mayor of our city, to beloved volunteer in the community. What I love about this picture is my mom's hand on his shoulder. It says everything.

On Thanksgiving, we opted to have our meal at my paternal grandparents' assisted living home, as it's not easy for them to leave the facility. Here is a picture of the family together:

I love that my grandparents are smiling in this picture, though sometimes it must be so hard to want to do that. I brag to everyone I know that my grandma (yes, she's my step-grandma, but the only reason that makes any difference is that I'm not blessed with her amazing genes) is 103. She is, in fact, two months shy of 104. She is absolutely incredible, as being 103 is not for the faint of heart. I think only the best people in the world get to live past 100. What we love most about our Grandma Sam is that she still has a sense of humor, a sense of style, and...well...sense! She understands what's going on around her, communicates well, and cares about what's happening in her world and others' lives, too.

My grandpa is no spring chicken at 97, but when your wife is 103, you don't get as much attention as you deserve. Grandpa is a character with a capital C. And though he and my other grandfather were both Captains on the Sheriff's Department, you really couldn't find two more different guys. Somehow their kids wound up together. Probably because it was written in the stars, as anyone who knows my parents would tell you. For many years, a conversation with Grandpa Carl was being on the receiving end of a litany of facts, stories, and life experiences. While Grandpa doesn't really have the strength to do that anymore, we all remember his stories and the zest with which he's approached life and knowledge. I love this profile of him.

I don't have any recent pictures of my maternal grandma, but I can tell you that she still has a dazzling smile. And while her world has always been small, in comparison with my other grandparents, that's how she's wanted it. She's able to be quite content in her corner of it. And she still has one heck of a collection of African violets.

If we're lucky, we'll all get old. And, no, I suppose it's not always pretty. It takes strength. But I see in my grandparents the evidence of lives well-lived. And if you've achieved that, I suppose there's a peace even in the difficult and challenging times that occur in later life. And though they may no longer get the limelight, I hope my grandparents know that they'll always have my love and respect.